stupid boys

waiting for guys to call is like waiting for a really expensive shoes to go on sale...it seems to take forever, but when it happens its so worth the wait. i hate suspense, i hate waiting, I'm very impatient. i just think when a guy tells you that he'll give you a call, he should give you a call....he shouldn't wait 5 days after the first call, or date, or whatever. it takes about 30 mins. to have a full conversation (unless your girls), at least when they call you know they were thinking of you....maybe i am stressing about nothing, J has a full life and productive life, school, work, friends...blah blah...i guess this whole being alone is really hitting me hard..i hate the "talking" phase, i wish i could skip that and the dating & just pick who i like, put us together & that's that...but oh no everything has be more complicated than that.everything is seems to standing still yet racing by all at the same time. i have no idea what i feel right now, all i know is i want to crawl into a hole. i want everything to change, but stay the same! i hate feeling so out of control..i think i am losing my mind, everything in my head is cloudy, nothing is clear, nothing is stable, nothing is logical.